DEAR ERIC: In my second marriage, my husband and I are both retired. He comes from a large, extended family of grown adults, while my family is smaller but in a similar situation. For the past ten years, I have been diligent in sending birthday cards filled with heartfelt messages—minus any money—to all the nieces, nephews, and daughters-in-law for their birthdays. Despite my efforts, I have never received a card back. Occasionally, I might get a text acknowledging the card, but that’s it. I can't help but wonder if I should continue this practice. – Birthday Silence

DEAR BIRTHDAY: The decision to continue sending them primarily depends on whether it brings you happiness. In my view, receiving even one card would prompt me to express gratitude, let alone over a decade’s worth. However, this scenario is surprisingly common, as frequently mentioned in this column. Relationships naturally require reciprocation to thrive. If sending well-wishes resonates with you and brings joy, let that sentiment lead you rather than focusing on their lack of manners. That said, if it's something that's troubling you, it's perfectly acceptable to stop. After all, relationships should nurture both parties involved in them.

In the realm of giving and receiving, your well-intentioned actions boil down to your personal fulfillment and the essence of what you wish to communicate through these gestures. Engaging in activities that bring you joy should not hinge on transactional returns. Yet, it's essential to recognize and prioritize your feelings and desires in these bonds. For further queries or advice, consider reaching out to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or through mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Additionally, you can follow his insights and columns on Instagram and subscribe to the weekly newsletter available at rericthomas.com.